I was in love, or thought that I was. Had you asked me then I would have sworn my world, my heart, my life, my blood to this man; and in fact I did. Oh the foolish notions of a child, for that is what I was. In a small island town filled with brash sailors smelling of salt and beer, the refined and elegant stick out.... like a throbbing sore thumb. That should have been a warning, but instead it was his lure. His beauty was mesmerizing. His movements sleek and fluid. He was tall and clean and smelled of old world spices. Even the ocean was no match for the depth in his eyes. And his hair! Silky thick black hair, sleek and shiny from the tip of his head to the tops of his broad shoulders. When he spoke to me, the timbre of his voice stroked something inside me, something as a young girl, and even now as an ancient creature, I've never felt before or since. The accent was faint, exotic, someplace far away, English yet not American nor British. The language rolled of his tongue like a kitten purring. Oh I was very much in love, or youthful lust.
Unlike the grubby sailors that frequented the port, He was educated and patient. He didn't grab at me with labor-hardened paws, but rather caressed my cheeks with velvety fingers. He courted me in the way that every young girl dreams. Every dance, every social, and anytime I was out about in town He was at my side, arm extended. Every girl my age hated me, hated that I was the one he choose. And the old guard? Well they were torn. Half believed he was the best thing that could happen to such a spirited and "ill behaved" child like myself. And the other half thought he was the devil reborn, for only someone truly sinister could be that good. And my family? They just wanted me to be happy. So after every lecture imploring me to be safe and reasonable I was given a hug and kiss and admonishments of undying love.
Three quarters of a century have gone by and I still can see that night as if it were happening right now. He spoke of eternal love and desire, of becoming one. I thought he was going to propose, and oh how I was ready to say yes. He kissed my lips, not tender like before, but rough enough to bruise them. His hand grabbed at my hair and suddenly I was very afraid. The struggle was pointless, a wasted effort of resistance. He held me like no other could. No matter how hard I kicked or pushed his arms never gave and inch. He crushed me so tight I couldn't breathe, not even a shallow breath to attempt a scream. And then it happened. My head was yanked back away from his lips and I felt the excruciating sting at my neck. My whole body went rigid and then suddenly limp. I could feel the cold creep into my finger tips and toes, spread across my arms and legs until my head began to spin. All I could do was focus on the stars and pray for my family and I felt him draining the life from my body. And then he whispered, "What do you want child? Tell me the thing you want most." Foolish notions of a child. I wanted my family. I wanted my Mother to hold me and tell me everything would be ok. I don't think I actually spoke the words, but my heart was screaming them. The tears from my eyes ran down my cheeks, along my neck, and stung the wounds there. God just give me back to my family! And he did, though he wasn't God or even and angel. Make no mistake; he was death.... my death and my rebirth.
I'll save you from the gruesome details of that night. No words could explain to a mortal the searing pain and violent nausea that experience caused me. Before the sun rose my body collapsed from exhaustion and stress. When I awoke, a whole 18 hours later, it was to candle light in my bedroom. My mother was by my side singing the old lullaby that used to calm me to sleep as an infant. The wounds on my neck were cleaned and covered. Mother held my hand and said that we would get through this. That the devil may have cursed me but my family would not. I could see the fear in her eyes. I remember realizing I could smell the fear in her breath; in fact it permeated the entire house. I could hear my Father pacing in the library below, and my brothers out back cussing and crying. But they didn't run, not a single one of them. And they didn't let me run either.
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Bella Morte, that's who he said I was. No longer descendant from Ireland or the Bahamas, my bloodline was of something more ancient. Beautiful one, he called me.
Are you surprised that after the fate he brought to me I would still see him? And why would I not? He was my only contact, my only source of knowledge to this new life. To banish him would be to further damn myself. Knowledge is power, and for many many years He was my only source of knowledge into this living death I was forced to choose. For years he stayed with me. He taught me to hunt, to kill discretely, to enhance my grace, and to learn everything I could. Even when it was time to leave my island home of Key West he followed, or maybe I followed him.
Did I still love him? Perhaps, but it was a different kind of love then what I thought I felt all those years ago as a naive island girl. This was a love of comfort, two so alike to each other yet so different from the rest of the world around them. He was safe, my mentor, my teacher, my protector. He was my world, until he left. We were in New Orleans, another port town, but one much too big for my liking. There was trouble brewing and I begged him to leave. There are horrible things in New Orleans; things that make even a Vampire's skin crawl. He laughed at me and caressed my cheek. Told me that his ancient eyes had seen all of this before. That my eyes were still very young and that when I had been around as many lifetimes as he then I would not be so squeamish. Still I pleaded with him to leave that filthy town.
So we compromised. He had unfinished business to attend to and would meet me in two days time further up river. He kissed my forehead tenderly and bid me farewell. That was the last time I saw him. He never came to me. I spent 5 miserable years scouring New Orleans for any trace of him without luck. I do not know what happened to him, but I do know this much... He is out there somewhere. One day I will see him again. And once I know the truth of his disappearance I'll ether hold him tight and shower him with kisses of sheer relief or drive a stake through his undead heart for making me what I am and then abandoning me.
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With my parents dead from completely natural causes and my brothers scattered to the winds with their families, for the first time in my life I found myself completely and utterly alone. Alone. A small-island girl alone in a big world. Never mind my immortality. Never mind my access to wealth. I was alone, and scared as hell. Even in this modern world suspicion and danger abound. The one and only thing I could focus on was to learn; anything and everything. I traveled from city to town under the guise of a student.
College towns see a lot of people come and go; it's easy to blend in and disappear. Nightlife thrives in a college town too. Didn't forget about that part did you? Don't, because I never do. Don't confuse beauty and kindness with weakness...for it just may get you killed. Don't mistake hunting discretely for lack of desire for the taste of blood, for trust me, if given the chance I'll drink yours just as readily as the next stranger. And in a college town there are lots of strangers. I can learn and feed and disappear. And I did just that for the better part of 30 years. Go ahead and joke about professional student. But while you're laughing I'm studying Virology, Hematology, Microbiology, and anything else that might help me find a way to lessen the thirst.
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